Friday, September 25, 2009

What ever it is Lord!!!!!

I am so ready to be focused. Lol. I have so many ideas, dreams, and goals that its hard for me to stay focused on one thing. I know in my heart that if I can grab hold of one I would go at it full force. Right now I feel like a "Jack of All Trades." My Uncle Sterling used to tell me this all the time when I was younger. I used to try to be good at everything, whether it was being a barber, ironing, a chef, a writer, a producer, an actor, a poet! Whatever the task was I tried to tackle it. The problem was and is I never truly got an understanding of "focus." I never went hard at just one thing. I was and am good at a lot of things, but never have i been great are on focused enough to be great. When I got a full scholarship to play basketball my family was excited. So can you picture my Uncles face when i told him I was quitting to pursue rap. Lol! You know what he did right? Yep....HE TOLD MY MAMMA! Let's just say I got my degree and played all 4 years. I was pretty darn good too, but I never achieved the level of success that everyone expected. The reason was I wasn't focused. I was cheating on basketball with my music. I would rush to pre game shoot around after being at the studio all day recording. Risking being benched on a team that I was suppose to be leading. To make matters worse i blamed my urge to quit basketball on God. I told people it was what God wanted me to do. As I look back on that time I know for a fact that the notion to quit came from the burst of creativity that I was having. I had found some producers who were "next level" at the time and I was perfecting my flow. I had just "re-dedicated my life to God", so I had tons of zeal, but sadly I had little knowledge or experience. But just like everything else my "rap career" has been a journey of unfocusednessness! I made that word up btw. One minute I'm going 100 mph and the next minute i'm in the corner curled up in a fetal position with my thumb in my mouth screaming "HELP!!!!" I go from MIGHTY WARRIOR to scared little boy in a matter of seconds. Its so frustrating to know what you want to do one second and in the next breath completely change your mind. In my life right now I'm praying for focus. Focus to do God's will and to be in His divine plan for my life. Whatever it is I just want to be focus. I turned 28 earlier this month, so my goal is to at least be on the right track by 30. Y'all pray for me!


  1. Wow man, you dont know how much this spoke to me...Im pretty much in the exact same situation right now...Im a college football player (freshman) AND a music business major. And just like you, ive been good at everything ive done my whole life...whatever it was...but especially football and music, and lately ive been questioning if God is calling me to do football and music together in college or if its just my desire. Sometimes i wish i wasnt good at both things so i could just focus 100% on one thing (besides Christ of course), As of right now I still feel like God is calling me to do both things right now, and its about the hardest thing I could do to myself as far as time is concerned (NOO free time)...But until God tells me otherwise ima keep doin what im doing. Glad to see someone I can relate to, God bless man, stay up.

  2. This is 2014 and am commenting on, hey Dre i hope now you got your answer, you can focus now... Been bumping that HP, 1 and 2 and now Maybe One Day album! Justin Rodgers i hope you also get what you are looking for, thats a line from one of Dre's tracks! I had also the same problem but you choose the Kingdom of God first and everything follows, that choosing one thing and you get the satisfaction that your heart craves.....stay blessed!